Being on the other side is quite eye opening. And by other side I mean now being a teacher instead of a student for the first time in my life. I remember being in school and thinking, "Could I be here ANY longer?" You know when you stare at the clock about every 3 minutes hoping it could move at lighting speed for the dismissal bell to ring? Well let me tell you something- teachers may or may not have the same thoughts cross our minds, except that we stay much longer than I ever dreamed as a student. I'm talking from 6 AM until 6-7 PM. Who would of THOUGHT?
The start of school was a tad bit rough. We weren't allowed back into our school until the first day of pre-planning and my room was full of boxes for a type of classroom I have zero formal experience in. Needless to say- my OCD was in overdrive with the thought of 40+ boxes in my room just sitting there to be unpacked. I really didn't know how I was going to even manage to do set up my room in between meetings and classes we had to sit in on. But of course, God had it all taken care of. I walk into my first day at 7:30 AM with my para-pro unpacking boxes with most of it already being done. She had arrived at 6:00 AM and done most of it for me, just simply because. I honestly had to hold back the tears because I was just so blown away by her servant heart. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't even required to come that day. Jesus is faithful in even the tiny details people. Believe it.
Fast forward a few weeks and it has officially been 7 days since I started school and I can't tell you how quick it has flown by. I have finally gotten to be with the students I have been praying over for years and once knowing their names this summer it was extra special to pray for them. Lately, I have come to the realization of how powerful prayer is. Not only do I get the opportunity to teach these little people, I also get the opportunity to invest in their lives, their hearts, and simply just love on them. Now don't get me wrong- we have had our moments over this past week. Needless to say, we are getting to know each other. We have had our tough moments that I can't say on here, but trust me, all you need to know is they have been tough. I think that is the most important thing a teacher can do is really invest in each child. If you are able to do that, you are able to do predict, understand, and resolve just about anything. Can I get an amen? At moments when they grab your hand, give you that smile, scream, kick, hit, or have those tears just streaming down their face, you know. You know exactly what they need.
Technically it has been 7 days, but those prayers that have been said for me and the ones that I have said myself, have truly been answered. I am able to understand what they want, need, and even those odd little mannerisms they might have and it's such an incredible feeling.
If I have realized one important thing over this short week to share with anyone in a similar position or even one that has no similarity at all, it would be this. Be present. I know that seems a little obvious, but really. At my church we are taking two weeks off just to rest and practice the Sabbath and I think it has really hit home for me. If you know me at all, you know I am constantly planning, thinking about the next moment, next week, next month, next year, and I could go on and on. But that isn't what Jesus calls us to do. I have heard this verse my whole life, but it has really blown up my heart lately, "Be still and know that I am God." Even in those moments when I don't know if I can even make it to the next hour, let alone the end of the day, somehow one of my little friends reminds me with a laugh or smile that I am exactly where I need to be and those moments overflow my heart. For example I had one friend who was just upset over something I couldn't understand what he wanted or needed and finally he stopped and looked up at me right in the eyes and said "hug." That's all he wanted- was for me to just be in that moment and love on him. And instead of planning every last move they have- I should just be still. I truly believe that when you are still, Jesus speaks volumes. But here is the kicker- the act of being still is probably the hardest thing to do. We much rather plan, ignore, or have our plans override His plans because trust me, it has taken (and still taking) me a long time to figure out the truth. Looking back, if I had gone with what my plans were I would of been in for it. At those moments when God had a different plan I was angry, frustrated, disappointed, heartbroken, and probably every other emotion you could possibly feel. But standing where I am now and looking back where Jesus put His hand in my life to alter, change, and create the plans He envisioned- I am left completely speechless at how faithful He is.
So I think that is where I am now with this whole dream job I have going on- if I just stop trying to plan every second and really live in each moment, Jesus is going to provide everything I could possibly desire for my classroom and even in my own personal life.
I hope you will continue to pray for me and my little friends. As I said in my last post, all I want to do is pour life into them. And what I mean by life is Jesus. Of course I very much respect other people's religious views in every classroom- so if some people don't want it to be named that, then call it love, hope, happiness, grace or whatever makes you feel comfortable. Jesus has placed me right where He intended to. And for that, I am thankful.
