Change

I think there is one thing they don't necessarily prepare you for in the teaching world and that's the ability to completely alter your day when something doesn't go as planned. And when I mean something I mean one thing that then throws your whole day off course. If I have learned anything in the past 4 weeks of being in school, it's that right there. How to cope with change, last minute activities, lessons that just go horribly, days in which my kids just simply aren't in the mood, meltdowns, happy moments that you just want to stop and enjoy, visitors, and baking gone bad. I at least tried to shorten my list of things that have gone wrong in my classroom that way you aren't completely convinced I am a struggling new teacher.

Although there are many things that have gone wrong in this past month, there is a lot of things that have gone wonderfully. I try to think of myself as a person who looks at the glass half full, because if we are honest, we need more people like that in this world. And especially in classrooms. If you know anything have kids with autism, you know change is not one of our favorite things in the world. And I say our as if I am including myself with my kids because I spend more time with them than anyone else in my life so whatever they feel, I feel. Whatever upsets them, upsets me. Whatever brings them joy, brings me joy. Whatever makes them laugh, makes me laugh. Whatever change comes our way, we cope. These little changes in our school day don't necessarily bother other "neuro-typical" kids, but for my friends sometimes it throws our whole day off. But I just want to take a second to brag about my boys, because we have had not one, not two, but three fire/code red drills since school started and we have powered through them like nobody's business. Before these drills happened I was fairly warned and mentally prepared for whatever might come my way in the waves of screams, kicks, tears, and just pure melt downs. But that didn't happen. My boys lined up, walked  outside, took a nice little break in the school parking lot, walked back in and got right back to our centers. I know most people are probably thinking that's great and all, but is that really that big of a milestone? I mean its just a fire drill. But to me, it's huge. I think it really struck home for as odd as it sounds. Especially for my friends who are normally given the rule of thumb, "structured and well-known schedule is our happy place." I found myself convicted of how I deal with change and anything that gets in my way of messing up my intentions, plans, whatever you want to call it.

I am reading a new book that a friend recommended to me and this little piece really hit me hard on her view of change:

"As I mine back through my heart and memories, I noticed something interesting: the best moments of the last few years were the very rare moments when I've allowed these changes to work their way through my life, when I've lived up to my faith, when I've been able even for a minute to see life as more than my very own plan unfolding on my schedule, when I've practiced acceptance, when I've floated instead of fought, when I've rested, even for a moment, on the surface instead of wrestling the water itself. And those moments are like heaven. " (Bittersweet)

So true. And so good. So I think that is what we are going to work on. And I can tell you my boys are doing a far better job than I am with all this change as a new teacher, living in a new part of town, and starting this new thing called adult life. Although I am technically their teacher, you would be impressed by how much they teach me. And love me. And not love me as if I am the best teacher on earth. But love me even through my trials, messed up lesson plans, and frantic yet peaceful days in my classroom. I wouldn't have it any other way. So change you say? Piece of cake. Or maybe a fourth of a piece right now.